Breaking Down Walls
by Morphimal
Summary: A strange view on the life of Shego, as told mostly through Shego's unconscious mind and the lyrics from Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'. Will eventually be Kigo.


**Breaking Down Walls**

_Disc 1_

Disclaimer: I do not now nor have I ever owned Kim Possible and all related characters and trademarks or Pink Floyd's The Wall.

Author's Note: Just a brief note on lyrical editing - I had to change about 3 three words to make some of the songs work from a female perspective. Beyond that, the lyrics are exactly like the original soundtrack.

--

Kim Possible had never felt more unsettled in her life. For the first time in years, her arch-nemesis Shego was behind bars...so why wasn't she happy? Instead, all she felt was this recurring sickness. She knew it couldn't be guilt. Shego would have sent her into that transmitter tower just as easily as Kim had done to her. At least, that's what she told herself every time the little food she could swallow came back up. Her parents were the first to notice, questioning her over meals about her sparse food intake. Her mother even went so far as to make Kim skip school for a trip to the hospital. When Mrs. Dr. Possible couldn't find anything physically wrong with her daughter, she was forced to take the teen at her word that she was just suffering from nerves over the end of the school year.

Sitting in Bueno Nacho after the year's final cheer practice, Kim listened inattentively as her best friend, Ron Stoppable, complained about the detention that was going to eat away his last Saturday before finals' week. When he paused to stuff a naco into his mouth, Kim finally piped in with the only thought that was bouncing around inside her head.

"Do you ever wonder how Shego became a villain?" Her question stopped Ron in the middle of slurping a dribble of cheese into his mouth. Swallowing quickly, Ron took a gulp of soda to clear his mouth before replying.

"Kim, I try to avoid thinking about Shego _period_. Better for my sanity. Besides, Hego told us what happened, remember? That whole 'got tired of being a hero' thing?"

"I know," Kim sighed. "I just feel like there might be more to the story. I mean, you don't just start hating the whole world because you got annoyed with your brothers. I can't help but think that something must have happened to make her like that. Like a rescue gone wrong or something."

"Maybe. But, seriously, why are you even thinking about her? She's in jail, Kim. We - well, you - finally beat her! You should be celebrating!" Ron exclaimed, an exuberant smile on his face. Standing up from devouring his own naco, Rufus waved his little arms happily and chimed in with a hearty 'Yeah-heh!!' Kim blushed and looked away, biting into her taco to avoid having to answer his question. Ron and Rufus gave each other mirrored shrugs before continuing their snack session.

-  
Inside a special cell designed specifically to imprison the super-villain sidekick known as Shego, the pale green woman dozed in and out of consciousness. She had recovered quickly from the injuries received in her last fight with Kim Possible, though her mind was still frazzled after having been electrocuted. As extra insurance, the agents of Global Justice kept Shego so pumped full of a special sedative/tranquilizer cocktail that she could barely distinguish reality from dreams. She made a futile attempt to stay awake by mentally reviewing the barrage of questions they had thrown at her one hour earlier. Unable to focus enough to remember the entire interrogation, Shego's vision blurred until all she could see were her own memories playing out like some twisted home movie.

So ya  
Thought ya  
Might like to go to the show.  
To feel the warm thrill of confusion, That space cadet glow.  
Tell me is something eluding you, sunshine? Is this not what you expected to see?  
If you wanna find out what's behind these cold eyes  
You'll just have to claw your way through this disguise.

Sheila Go, like all people, was not able to remember her own birth. She had seen a tape of it once when her parents had found out they were expecting twins, but even that disturbing viewing was merely a fuzzy memory residing in the back of her brain. No, the clearest memory that Sheila could readily recall was not a moment of happiness. In her mind's eye, she watched as her mother sat in a rocking chair next to her baby brothers' cribs. Softly, her mother's tear-filled voice echoed in her mind.

"Momma loves her baby  
And daddy loves you too.  
And the sea may look warm to you babe  
And the sky may look blue  
But ooooh Babe  
Ooooh baby blue  
Oooooh babe."

That was the last time her mother had sung the lullaby, unable to force herself to continue singing a song that spoke a blatant lie. If "daddy loves you too", then why did he leave?

-  
Midnight in Middleton, and Kim couldn't sleep. She had tossed and turned restlessly, finally flinging off her covers and moving to her computer desk. Opening up a web browser, Kim did something she had never thought to do before: she began searching for old Go City news articles and city records on one Sheila Go. The first thing she found was an article about a strange comet landing in the backyard of the Go family, descendants of the city's first settlers. Not used to doing her own research, Kim surfed the internet for nearly an hour before finding the information she was looking for. Staring dumbstruck at the screen as several public records flashed before her eyes, Kim curled up in her computer chair and silently cried.

-  
If you should go skating  
On the thin ice of modern life  
Dragging behind you the silent reproach  
Of a million tear-stained eyes  
Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice  
Appears under your feet.  
You slip out of your depth and out of your mind  
With your fear flowing out behind you  
As you claw the thin ice.

Shego stumbled around the cell, struggling to tug her arms loose from the dark blue straightjacket. She had woken up to discover that the drugs were mostly worn off. For some reason, though, she couldn't power up her plasma. Every time she tried, the straightjacket would just glow a hazy blue and leave her feeling drained. If she could just get her arms loose...

A hissing sound signaled the opening of the cell door, and Shego panicked. She threw herself onto the cot protruding from the wall, praying they hadn't noticed she was awake. Just that quickly, though, four GJ agents were on her, two of them grabbing her legs and shoulders to pull her into a sitting position. Of course they knew she was awake, she thought. They probably had microscopic cameras monitoring the cell 24 hours a day. As the third agent grabbed her head to hold it to the side, the fourth set a bag on the ground. She watched in horror as he pulled out a syringe and filled it with whatever concoction they had designed to subdue her. The agent moved close enough to inject her, and Shego found herself saying the one thing she swore she would never utter.

"No...please..." Her plea fell on deaf ears, and she felt a tear slip down her cheek as the needle pinched through the skin and into her veins.

Daddy's flown across the ocean  
Leaving just a memory  
Snapshot in the family album

A frustrated little girl roughly threw the photo to the floor. It wasn't fair! Everyone had something of Daddy's but her! Herbert had his old baseball glove, Mikhail found a pair of his boots, and the twins had a set of old board games that Mom had found in the attic. What did Sheila get? A picture! Just a stupid picture...the only picture their mom hadn't thrown away. Sniffling, Sheila jumped onto her bed, burying her face in the pillow until all that could be seen was a head of raven hair. Crying, she mumbled,

"Daddy what else did you leave for me?" A few moments of sobbing passed and, shoulders shaking violently, Sheila sat up and threw the pillow across the room.

"Daddy, what'd'ja leave behind for me?!?"  
All in all it was just a brick in the wall.  
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.

-  
After finals' week ended, Ron noticed how depressed Kim was becoming. She spent almost all of her free time at home, doing some sort of research on her computer. Whenever he tried to ask her what she was looking up, she just shrugged and mumbled something about 'the past.' Finally deciding that Kim needed time to herself, Ron let her shut him out for a little while. Silently, he found himself hoping for a mission to pop up. If anything could bring Kim back to life, saving someone else was definitely it.

Locked inside her room, Kim read over a report about an incident at a middle school that Sheila once attended.

-  
When we grew up and went to school  
There were certain teachers who would  
Hurt the children in any way they could

Sheila tried, she honestly _tried_, to like her sixth grade homeroom teacher. But he was such an ass! He constantly picked on anything the kids did, especially if it was something they enjoyed.

By pouring their derision  
Upon anything we did  
Exposing every weakness  
However carefully hidden by the kids  
But in the town, it was well known  
When they got home at night, their fat and  
Psychopathic wives would thrash them  
Within inches of their lives.

Right now, he was ripping into a stick of a kid who had written a poem during lessons. She couldn't remember his name, 'Pink' or something strange like that, but she knew he didn't deserve to be humiliated like that. Just the previous week, the teacher had let into her for humming a song she had made up. It was embarrassing and wrong. Slowly, she felt something bubble up inside her chest. As the teacher began laughing madly, the words broke loose.

"We don't need no education  
We don't need no thought control  
No dark sarcasm in the classroom  
Teachers leave them kids alone  
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!"

Everyone stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. She ignored them. They didn't matter. All that mattered was making that smug teacher shut up.

All in all it's just another brick in the wall.  
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

Suddenly, a small voice piped up. Pink had stood up in his desk, tears streaming down his face as he glared angrily at the teacher. One by one, the students joined in with the chant, voices growing stronger, fiercer, and all the more unified.

"We don't need no education  
We don't need no thought control  
No dark sarcasm in the classroom  
Teachers leave them kids alone  
Hey! Teachers! Leave those kids alone!"

By the time the final word had been howled, screams directed toward the teacher, the students had begun tearing apart the room. A crowd gathered in the hall outside until finally the principal came to put a stop to the riot. The teacher fingered Sheila as the instigator, and the principal practically manhandled her to his office. As he paced around in an outrage, yelling and gesticulating in her general direction, she set her jaw and stared him down. He didn't matter. Mom would show up and handle everything. Just like she always had. Just like she always would.

All in all you're just another brick in the wall.  
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

-  
In the monitor room, Dr. Director watched a live feed of Shego singing almost incoherently. She had recently received a message from Wade Load saying that Kim would like to come see how Shego was holding up. She thought it a strange request and told him that she needed to assess whether it would be safe for Kim to come in at the current time. Honestly, Betty Director had no idea what to make of the ex-hero-turned-thief now singing, quite beautifully from what could be heard, in the middle of the most secure holding facility Global Justice had ever built.

-  
At thirteen, Sheila tried to put together enough songs to record a CD. She told her younger brother Herbert about it, and he told her she should try to do something more productive with her life. It was such an unexpected response that she ran to her mother and cried.

Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb? Mother do you think they'll like this song?  
Mother do you think they'll try to break my bones?  
Oooo-ah Mother should I build a wall?  
Mother should I run for president? Mother should I trust the government?  
Mother will they put me in the firing line?  
Oooo-ah Is it just a waste of time?

Her mother always held her close whenever Sheila cried. She encouraged her to sing when she felt bad, saying it would help push out the pain. Everything she did, her mother said, she did for her precious little girl.

Hush my baby, baby, don't you cry.  
Mother's gonna make all of your nightmares come true.  
Mother's gonna put all of her fears into you.  
Mother's gonna keep you right here under her wing.  
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing.  
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm.  
Ooooh baby ooooh baby oooooh baby,  
Of course mama's gonna help build the wall.

The first time Sheila and her mother really clashed was when she got involved in her first relationship. Admittedly, bringing Kitty home and saying, "Mom, this is my girlfriend," wasn't really the best way to come out to her mother, but Sheila firmly believed in being as straightforward and blunt as possible.

Her mother refused to speak to Sheila for all of a day, then came to the conclusion that perhaps Sheila was meant to be a lesbian. At least that way no man could ever break her heart.

Mother do you think she's good enough -- for me?  
Mother do you think she's dangerous -- to me?  
Mother will she tear your little girl apart?  
Oooo-ah Mother will she break my heart?

Hush my baby, baby don't you cry.  
Mama's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you.  
Mama won't let anyone dirty with you.  
Mama's gonna wait up until you get in.  
Mama will always find out where you've been.  
Mama's gonna keep baby healthy and clean.  
Ooooh baby oooh baby oooh baby,  
You'll always be baby to me.

As Sheila's last girlfriend left in tears, refusing to be around her mother longer than one night, Sheila wondered for the first time if maybe her mother was being too protective.  
"Mother, did it need to be so high?"

-  
Kim found herself reviewing the articles about the comet that landed in Go City. According to every report she'd come across, the Go children had been unable to leave their tree house before the comet struck, yet all but one were unharmed. A then-sixteen-year-old Sheila was brought to the hospital for severe burns that quickly healed, leaving behind an unexplainable tint to her skin. Why only you? Kim thought. The others can change their skin color. What was so different about you?

-  
Sheila sat on top of the tree house, lighting a cigarette as Herbert and Mikhail bickered inside. Herbert wanted to let Wesley and Weston join their club, but Mikhail refused to let them in unless they all agreed on him being the leader. Sheila just wanted the whole lot of them to go away so she could enjoy her smoke without the risk of being caught. Her mother would rip her a new one if she found out, and Sheila was silently pleased to be doing something outside of the woman's controlling grasp. Ever since she'd started keeping her girlfriends secret, Sheila had discovered the thrill associated with rebellion. Sounds of climbing from below informed her that the twins were being led into the tree house. Good, she thought. Maybe now they'll stop bugging me.

Half-way through her cigarette, Sheila heard the distinct whistling sound of something falling from a great height. She scanned the sky for several minutes before the technicolor comet came into view, and by then it was too late to do anything but scream for her brothers to run as she stood up and stretched her arms wide.

Did you see the frightened ones?  
Did you hear the falling bombs?  
Did you ever wonder why we had to run for shelter when the promise of a brave new world unfurled beneath the clear blue sky?

Did you see the frightened ones?  
Did you hear the falling bombs?  
The flames are all long gone, but the pain lingers on.  
Goodbye, blue sky  
Goodbye, blue sky.  
Goodbye. Goodbye.  
Goodbye.

The children of the Go family each developed a special ability that when in use turned their skin a peculiar shade. In Sheila's hospital room, they made a pact to use their powers for good and to never reveal their identities to the world. The last part made Sheila snort derisively. Taking the brunt of the blast had scarred her in a way that made sure everyone would always know exactly who she was. Her brothers may be heros, but she was just a freak.

For several nights, her mother came in and coddled her and tried to convince her everything would be fine. Then Lauren, her at-the-time girlfriend, showed up and flung herself into Sheila's arms, sobbing over how scared she'd been and how the doctors wouldn't let her in to visit for so long.

Looking in her mother's eyes, Sheila knew things would never be the same.

What shall we use To fill the empty spaces  
Where we used to talk?  
How shall I fill  
The final places?  
How should I complete the wall?

-  
Kim watched through the monitors as Shego cried in her drug-induced sleep. Dr. Director still wouldn't let the teen talk to the young woman, but she at least agreed to letting Kim come in and watch her every now and then. Towards the end of June, Kim had fallen into a weekly pattern of visiting to watch the once-proud villainess.

-  
Sheila and her mother stopped speaking after that. Team Go grew to be Go City's number one team of heros, and Sheila found it harder and harder to go out in public. Eventually, she took to going out at night only, usually dressed as a boy. She even convinced some of her party buddies to start a rock band. They only played a couple of gigs, but it gave Sheila a distraction from the stresses that filled her life. She didn't sing, unfortunately. She couldn't risk being discovered as a woman. They used a couple of her songs, though, and one in particular became rather famous in the Go City underground scene.

-  
Kim had nearly nodded off when a new sound drew her attention back to the screen before her. Shego, eyes open but unfocused, had begun roughly singing a song Kim had never heard before.

"I am just a new boy,  
Stranger in this town. Where are all the good times?  
Who's gonna show this stranger around?  
Ooooh, I need a dirty woman.  
Ooooh, I need a dirty girl.

Will some cold woman in this desert land  
Make me feel like a real man?  
Take this rock and roll refugee  
Oooh, baby set me free.

Ooooh, I need a dirty woman.  
Ooooh, I need a dirty girl."

In Shego's mind, she was reliving her nineteenth birthday. The members from the band threw a party for their "best guitarist/lyricist," and that night introduced her to an aspect of the underground that she had up 'til then avoided: drugs. Sitting in the middle of the drummer's coffee table was a mirror with a small pile of white powder, from which several lines had already been divided up. Her immediate reaction was disgust. She was a hero, after all. She brought in drug dealers on a regular basis. Sitting on the dirty little couch inside her friend's apartment, though, she was just one of the guys. Not a hero. Not even a woman. Just one of the guys. Leaning over, Sheila discovered the power of cocaine.

-  
As the weeks passed, Sheila spent less time as Shego and more time as a would-be infamous guitarist. The drugs came easier, and the days passed faster with fewer memories to cloud up her mind. Fighting villains became less important, leading Hego to believe that his big sister must have been corrupted by one of their many enemies. This assumption eventually led to the confrontation between brother and sister that would one day bring about the disintegration of Team Go.

"Wake up, Shego," a stern voice said to the sleeping young woman. A single arm fought to free itself from the blankets, finally raising to present Hego with a solitary digit as a symbol of how she felt at being woken up. "It's three in the afternoon, Shego. Way past time to get up, now wake. Up!" The last was said in time with Hego grabbing and yanking off the blanket Sheila was wrapped in, in turn dumping Sheila onto the floor. Growling, Sheila pushed herself up and glared at her younger brother.

"What the HELL is your problem, Herbert?" she barked, snatching the blanket out of his hands and dropping it back on her bed.

"For the last time, inside Go Tower we are only to address each other by our Team Go names. But that's beside the point," Hego said, crossing his arms.

"You mean you actually have a point?" Sheila sneered. "There's something new." Hego's lips drew into a thin line.

"Shego, where were you last night?" For a moment Sheila just stared Hego down. He shifted slightly but didn't back down.

"Out, Hego. Just like the night before, and the night before that, and the night a week ago-"

"Will you just tell me where you were?!" Hego shouted, and Sheila arched an eyebrow.

"Fuck you, Hego. I'm a grown woman. I'll do what I want, when I want. You are not my goddamned keeper." Again the room was silent as Sheila began picking clothes out of her closet.

"I wonder how Mother would feel about her precious baby being such a 'grown woman'," Hego stated just loud enough to hear. Sheila's head snapped around, her eyes glowing a shade of green Hego had never previously seen. Before he could react, Sheila shot across the room and decked him with a plasma-powered fist. Hego flew out the door, landing in a heap against the hallway wall. As he shook himself out of a daze, he saw Mego and the Wegos watch as Sheila threw her things into a suitcase. As she turned to storm out of her room with suitcase in tow, their younger brothers dashed off into another corridor. Sitting up a little against the wall, Hego looked up in fear at his sister standing menacingly over him.

Day after day, love turns grey  
Like the skin of a dying man.  
Night after night, we pretend its all right  
But I have grown older and  
You have grown colder and  
Nothing is very much fun any more.

"You need to grow up, _Herbert_. It's time to stop play-acting," she spat at him.

"But- but we're heros," he whimpered. Shaking her head, Sheila turned to walk away.

"No, Herbert. We're just a bunch of kids playing a game. And I'm tired of playing."

-  
Sheila tossed the hotel key on the side table as the latest in a string of girlfriends followed her into the room. She was tired, but the girl just wouldn't shut up. Sitting down in front of a footstool with a mirror set up on it, Shego inhaled two thin lines as the girl's voice sent slivers down her spine.

And I can feel one of my turns coming on.  
I feel cold as a razor blade,  
Tight as a tourniquet,  
Dry as a funeral drum.

When the girl once more mentioned the music career Sheila could have had, Sheila snapped. Jumping out of the chair, she cornered the girl and started screaming,

"Run to the bedroom,  
In the suitcase on the left  
You'll find my favorite axe.  
Don't look so frightened  
This is just a passing phase,  
One of my bad days.  
Would you like to watch T.V.?  
Or get between the sheets?  
Or contemplate the silent freeway?  
Would you like something to eat?  
Would you like to learn to fly?  
Would'ya?  
Would you like to see me try?"

Running to the main window, Sheila sent her fist through the glass. The energy slowly draining, she turned back to call out,

"Would you like to call the cops?  
Do you think it's time I stopped?  
Why are you running away?"

Hours after the girl had run terrified from the hotel room, Sheila had managed to get her on the phone.

-  
Kim sat outside Shego's cell, listening as the nearly conscious prisoner began singing again. Her heart reached out to Shego as she wondered what could prompt the villain to craft such a sad song.

"Ooooh, babe  
Don't leave me now. Don't say it's the end of the road.  
Remember the flowers I sent.  
I need you, babe  
To put through the shredder  
In front of my friends  
Ooooh Babe.  
Don't leave me now.  
How could you go?  
When you know how I need you  
To beat to a pulp on a Saturday night  
Ooooh Babe.  
Don't leave me now.  
How could you treat me this way?  
Running away.  
Ooooh, Babe.  
Why are you running away?  
Oooooh Babe "

-  
Sheila wished she hadn't hung up. The come-down from cocaine was always a royal bitch, and she wasn't sure she could handle being alone. She felt like she was- waking up? Why did...

-  
Once again, Shego had been out of it so long that GJ had failed to properly medicate before her last dose wore off. The excruciatingly long time it took her to blink told her that she was still pretty doped up, but her thoughts were coming in clear enough for her to recognize where she was. Then she saw that the cell door was open, and she knew she had to be high.

"P-princess?" Shego watched as Kim took a cautious step into the room.

"Quiet, Shego. I...I just wanted to say hi. They leave you alone in here a lot, and...I've been visiting. Dr. Director doesn't want me speaking to you directly, but everyone's pretty much off duty right now, so I was able to sneak in. I-"

"Go 'way," Shego mumbled. "Just a 'llucination. Go 'way."

"No, Shego, I-" Before she could finish, a group of agents yanked Kim out of the room and filed in to repeat the sedation process. Realizing what was happening, Shego started to thrash about. Still lost between dreams and reality, she began to half-shout, half-sing.

"I don't need no arms around me  
And I don't need no drugs to calm me.  
I have seen the writing on the wall.  
Don't think I need anything at all.  
No! Don't think I'll need anything at all.  
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.  
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall."

Kim clasped her hands over her mouth, watching as the syringe slipped under Shego's pale skin and the villainess nodded off. A hand landed on her shoulder, and Kim spun around to face a furious Betty Director.

"I think you and I need to have a talk, Miss Possible."

-  
Sheila Go wandered aimlessly around the streets of Go City, enough cocaine running through her system to overdose two normal humans. She stumbled and landed unceremoniously at the feet of a nervous looking man in a blue lab coat.

"Er, Miss? Are you alright, Miss?" he asked in a nasally voice. Sheila laughed, rolling over as she began singing dazedly,

"Goodbye cruel world,  
I'm leaving you today.  
Goodbye,  
Goodbye,  
Goodbye.

Goodbye, all you people,  
There's nothing you can say  
To make me change my mind.  
Goodbye."

_End Disc 1...Insert Disc 2_

TBC- I should have the next chapter up sometime this week. Please review to let me know what you think!! The more you review, the better my stories get. Thanks for reading!


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